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| This will be my last entry in this journal. It has become a constant reminder of all the mistakes that I have made and all the bad memories that I allowed myself to be swallowed by. I plan on making new memories and having happier times. This journal with be thrown away and deleted of all its misfortune. I plan on getting myself together and with that said, a new journal will be created. It is for those who choose to read and those who support me in my reform... | | |
| I have behaved in a manner that is so unlike me. I can no longer recognize myself, and I am beyond disgusted that I allowed myself to become everything that I have fought so hard against. I allowed myself to be that person again and I feel sick to my stomach. Everything that I was known for has now since vanished. I threw out every rule and every principle that I had set for myself and for what? I grew angry at the prospect of being thrown away and discarded as something meaningless and yet I did nothing to stop myself from doing exactly the same thing. I boasted of my maturity and my ability to comprehend others, and now I can no longer see straight. I've acted as a child, and I've become impulsive. I've made others compromise themselves on my behalf, while selfishly doing nothing in return. I have become the monster that I tried so hard to conceal. I refuse to be like this any longer. I was once happy, and I was once a just person. I was trustful and open, generous even, and now, I am cold, stubborn, and repulsive. I cannot do it anymore, and I will not do this anymore. This is my word, that from this day forward, by my choice, that I will allow myself to be open, to be happy, and to be the best person that I could ever hope to be. | | |
| I agree...with everything you said... | | |
| Nothing Wrong
He's unhappy. She's afraid. He's tormented. She's relentless. He's truthful. She lies. He's emotional. She's numb. He cries. She runs away. He craves it. She wants it. He searches. She hides. He leaves. She's haunted. He wants her back. She refusues. He hates her. She loves him. He's angry. She's alone. He doesn't know. She won't tell him. He loves another. She closes up. He doesn't understand. She won't explain. He won't say a word. She's frustrated. He goes crazy. She's sick. He's dying. She's dying faster. He's scared of her. She's uncomfortable. He moves on. She kills herself... - Polaris | | |
| I know I seem cold, and in truth I am. It was the only way that I could protect myself. You're proof that I was wrong. There was no way to shield myself from this. I said how much I hated you but it was never true. I hate myself when I have no control and I hate myself when I have dependence on something. I only get nervous around you, and the feeling is no better than the tearing of my skin. There's compulsion running through me and I can't seem to get rid of it. You have no idea how hard I tried, and you have no idea how I feel. Like I said, kill me now, and I promise things will get better... | | |
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